Fighting the fight of debt...trying to work a farm alone...a deep desire to be self sufficient but don't know how to overcome myself
Monday, June 29, 2009
NEPHEW UPDATE
So much has happened that continues to set him back but the biggest thing is that his pneumonia won't go away.
She wants him either at a different hospital...one where she feels they will actually work toward weening him.....or she wants him home. They said something about a nursing home but this breaks her heart and mine too. Her baby is suffering so much and there is nothing she can do but watch as he slowly dies.
Dear God I don't understand how she stands up to this. There is so little that we as her family can do for her. I feel at the very least completly useless. I never thought I would have to support her this way. I don't understand how she functions at work.
He says he is not ready to give up yet. He still wants to fight and show them they are wrong.
I don't understand how he can keep sane as long as he has been doing this. I know there are families who have gone through it longer but I bet not many of them are single moms of only children.
Your prayers are appreciated.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
NEW RHINO LINER!
Honest Scrap Award!
Blind Pig and the Acorn
Ron's Life Journey -he doesn't post much but he loves the Lord very much
Living off the Grid at Ecclectic Farm
Grannys Garden
Basic Beekeeping
The Survival Podcast (not really a blog but I can't not mention them. I learn so much there)
I haven't notified these yet but I will try to after work.
Friday, June 26, 2009
EMERGENCY PREPS
Thursday, June 25, 2009
TONIGHT WE FLEW TO ALASKA
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First I picked up my littlest grand kids and we went to visit Nanny and Paw Paw. They ate happy meals and then Paw Paw gave them bobble head Jose Conceco dolls. What a treat!!! Bubba held onto his all evening and had it when I dropped him off.
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Then we drove over the lake and the magical sail boats again filled the blue water.
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Then we passed something even more magical and we had to turn around and go back! The fireworks stand was open!!! Bubba asked me to pick him up and he sat on the counter. The owner, a man about my own age, told me how much he liked my Boo. I asked him if he had any snakes. He said all he had was a packet with that was meant for small children with a little of everything. He handed it to Bubba who inspected each and every item in it. I leaned on the counter peering over his shoulder and grinning at the owner. Finally I asked..."Well what do you think?" He said in a wisened voice, "Hmmmm. I think this will do very nicely." I paid the nice man, who then produces a dusty army tank from under the counter and asked Bubba if he would like to have it. Bubba politely said "Yes sir I would very much". We waved good bye and came on to Nenna's house.
^
When I picked them up the littlest, KK wanted nothing more than to feed the chickens. This is so funny. I provided her with a little bucket and a bag of sunflower seeds. (the chickens favorite food) She made sure every chicken had some.
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I had to inspect Jack. He is almost ready for harvest. He should store nicely in the house until Halloween.
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Finally it was dark enough to try out the fireworks.
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There is nothing more magical than sparklers.
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Then it was time to load back into Boo and head back to the other grand mothers house. Bubba told me as we were leaving my street that Boo could fly....Really? I said. Yes Really Neena...can you fly her high? Yes I can Bubba.....let's go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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And off we flew....
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Over Oklahoma we waved down at Grandpa and Grandma Suz....then we were over Kansas, on to Iowa, swooped over Wyoming and then we entered Canadian airspace. Where to next Bubba? How about Alaska? Cool lets go! There we saw snow capped moutains, lots of snow and polar bears....then we headed out over the chilly Pacific ocean where we saw a mother whale and her baby whale. Bubba saw a shark who was getting too close to the whale family so we warned them to swim away fast.
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Then we had to fly home to Texas and before we landed Bubba wanted to fly very very high...so we did and when we were up high he grabbed a piece of the moon and stuck it in his pocket. He gave it to his other grandmother as a surprise.
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Now I am home and getting ready to sleep. I hope I don't have jet lag tomorrow.
^
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
1976--A VERY GOOD YEAR
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
SUNNY DAY---PRETTY SAILBOATS
That lake is beautiful (from afar) but when you look close at the shores you see trash, debris and places where kids have drug parties.
But from the bridge it looks like a fairie land. Today though, that part of the lake was full of sail boats. All the sails were over 2 stories tall and the sun was shining off of them as the cast about on the water.
It was great.
PS...I left a message for my loan company to call me tomorrow and take my pay off!
DEBT VIPERS
The other two are going to be tougher to pay off. They are cut up and I am not using them any more but they are still like a viper with it's teeth sunk into my neck.
Why on earth did I ever touch a credit card???
I know better. I am smarter than this. Starting on the 20th of next month I am going to have a truck payment. That will make it harder to pay those off. But I feel like I am being strangled.
When I was married we had over 150,000 in debt. Not all unsecured but still debt all the same. I don't think a debt like a house payment is as burdening as unsecured debt but it is still a burden.
How did we even breathe with that kind of debt???
The payoff process is painful. The debt I will pay off tomorrow is 30% interest and the min payment is $176/month!
I will not do this any more. I will not have any more unsecured debt ever in my life! And I will budget and work to pay off my secured debt early. I would love to wake up one morning and stand on my front porch completly debt free....wonder how old I will be?
Saturday, June 20, 2009
HER NAME IS BOO
ps...you notice the two things that get to sit under the carport?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
THE PORCH IS DONE!
DON'T I HAVE A GREAT DAUGHTER????
ps...IF YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ANY OTHER POD CAST--PLEASE LISTEN TO 6.18.09 SURVIVAL PODCAST! (bad language warning) please forgive the language, listen to the content please.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
GROUNDED!
Monday, June 15, 2009
IN HOPES OF HALLOWEEN
Here are two more.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
END OF THE WEEKEND
I took the boys out for ice cream this evening and stopped by the feed store. I am so grateful that they are open on sundays. I bought 50# bags of chopped corn, complete rabbit food, oats and black oil sunflower seeds.
I mixed all of them together and the chickens are very grateful. The goonies will be too when they come back from the pond.
I took the kids on a ride in the trailer and we stopped on the hill by the pond and turned it off. As I watched the pond surface I started thinking we have fish in there but we never have had them before. I have come to the conclusion that what is rolling the surface is bull frog tadpoles. I remember seeing them dart to the surface last year and swim straight back down. Because these rolls are so large I bet that is what it is.
I tried to begin this weeks mowing but the sun was too bright and the sound of the tractor too much for my head.
I hate just sitting in the a/c and doing laundry but I guess that is ok.
As soon as the advil kicks in I will finish dishes. My wonderful daughter cleaned the kitchen and living room for me while I was off feeding horses.
I was undoubetly the most crabby person I knew EVER this weekend. My grandboys could not do anything right without getting in trouble.
When I got off of the tractor I saw my oldest was in his "going home" clothes and that made me sad. I asked him if he wanted to sit in the swing with me while he waited for his mom. He did.
I told him I was sorry I was so crabby. He very simply said "It's ok if you are crabby nanna." I asked if he would love me even if I am crabby and he said he would.
We ritualistically ate the first tomato shared between me and the two boys....daughter's comment? "Nope I'm good."
That was a wonderful tomato.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
SWEET SLEEP
Then you are awake enough to say hello.
Then you are awake enough to kiss your best friend.
Boy do I wish that this was me who got to take a nap.
SUNNY SATURDAY
I will be baking squash casserole.
Update on my nephew. Did I tell you he has pneumonia again? He isn't feeling good at all as of yesterday. They are going to have to start him all over again trying to get him off of the ventilator.
Friday, June 12, 2009
END OF A 3 DAY WORK WEEK
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
BACON IS FINISHED
While the bacon was smoking we went for a drive in the tractor wagon (no pics sorry)
Played in the pool because it was almost a hundred degrees.
Played boxing....I think Bubba was letting KK win.
And hung out in the hammock. I think I created a hammock monster. KK would not get out. She wanted her tea and sat and talked to herself and drank tea....nice life!
NAP TIME: MAKING A HOME MADE SMOKER
LAST DAY OF VACATION; VENTING
I got a call from my sister this morning. She had gotten a bill for her son's stay at ICU and it was $675,000. Most of this was medication that he had been given. She was crying. Not because of the bill.
But because my mother, on her way home, was yelling at her (at my sister) because my daughter told them on the phone last night to pick up something for fleas on the way home as she had been eaten alive while in their home.
#1...why on earth would they torment my sister over something like that when she is driving to Baylor to watch her son get a chest tube?
#2...why on earth would fleas matter when your grandson may be dieing in the hospital?
#3...why on earth would fleas matter when your daughter just got a bill for over a half a million dollars for a hospital stay?
I don't want to live long enough to become my parents. I never want to live long enough to not care about anything but myself.